Sleeping disorder!!

I'm totally a person in normal state, no health problem and no tension. I'm always a jolly minded, coruscating, talkative and totally a free girl. I've completed my all type of education recent March. I won't take a new admission anywhere. And even I'm not worry about engaging any new job. I don't have to worry about anything now. Everyday I sleep in total over 9 hours from night to late at morning. My mom doesn't make any pressure to do our household work. Every morning I wake up on my own wish. My breakfast is being ready. After my waking up I read daily newspaper. My mom dry up the hand made bread for me and also she brings it to my on our dining table. I just take my breakfast. After sometime our home servant 'Parveen' give me my milk tea.

After having tea, I tidy up all room. But, our home always become setting in due order. So, I don't need to arrange it daily. Taking off our mosquito curtain and spreading the bed cover... this two job I've to done every morning. There is no other jobs I've to done in my home regularly. I'm totally a happiest person. I do teaching on the afternoon and night. But, that also not gave me any pressure. And I don't need to go any far place from my home. And the student is much funny, I'm just a facilitator for him or her. Student does all the job she or he done. I just stay their in front of him or her. That's it.

After 8-30PM at night, I say my Esha prayer. Then I open my laptop and happily brows anywhere. The Qubee connection is much speedy. I don't have to do their any important work. I just use daily internet. If you say what I do there? The reply is, 'nothing!' Nothing important I do using my internet with expending every month by 1440 t aka. So , there is no one like luckier than me.

And, as a young female person I don't need to take going anywhere out from my residence. I can do anything anytime when I want.

Even though, I don't know why I didn't sleep yesterday night. I was happily listening song till 2AM, after then, I went to my bed. Yesterday weather was much hot. But, my room wasn't seem much hot. I was feeling that I'm hungry. But, there is one box of date and one box of chocolate over there in our refrigerator. But, I needed then heavy food. Why I was feeling much appetite on that mid night. I don't know! One day before I also became appetite. But, that night After 2AM I as sleeping tight till 9AM at morning. But, yesterday night, I couldn't sleep a single moment. I got up from bed again and again and was walking. I fond that have any tension in my mind? But, I noticed that there is not anything for me to be tensed. Then, I was trying to read a story book. But, with much hungriness I totally didn't get joined with sleep. After sometime I was afraid that oh what a problem! Why not I could sleep now!! The I was trying to practice YOGA in that late at night.

Then, when I got into sleep, I don't know. But, last time I noticed on my mobile phone, when I was waking up, it was 3-50AM.

I wake up then 8-39AM at morning. It was a ridiculous night for me that I couldn't sleep a single moment yesterday.   

I've no health disease, but, after waking up total night, I don't feel happy in day day, It affects on my mental health and day work. and my face looks like very pale. I don't like my pale fainted like face anymore. I want keep me always jolly minded happy.

I'm an Avid Reader!!

Writing, drawing etc are the things of creativity. And it is saying that to be a good writer you have to read more. The more you read the more you learn.

I'm a new writer. But before starting writing I was a good reader. Say about me a sound lover about my readings.

I remember that at my childhood, I was very shame girl. I was not want to mix with others easily. But, when I go somewhere, if that place or home is totally new to me, I stayed their at the corner alone. After sometime, when my parents and the new uncle or aunt get engaged with gossiping, I seek their book shelf. If the book shelf and books are covered with deep dust. It didn't any matter for me. I have got a book shelf, it's the matter. After sometime, when came the time of our returning, they couldn't find me.

I'm an avid reader from my childhood. And the fortunate thing is, I never get forbidden to read any type of books from my parents. At our teenage, some parents forbid their children that some books are not for us to read. Some books we can read after our maturity. But, I never got anything from my parents. So I've got chance to read anything, I've got chance to touch any type of books. So, after passing a stage, I could decide what I should read or not.

But I'm a avid reader for the Bengali literature, not English one. I'm too lazy for that. always. And you know the most unfortunate girl I am! Why? Technology gives us so many benefits. Via Internet we got lots of information, English topics for reading. But I'm so blind and so much lazy!! I have been using internet since over two years. But, I didn't take the benefit and even didn't think about it. What a fool I am!!

But, now I can understand all of my efforts. Now, I'm totally free. I'm starting now reading Bengali and English writings both. I have divided my time for reading. Some are Bengali, some are English. I collected some Bengali short story book at my home. But, I've not a huge collection about English writings. My younger brother has brought from Singapore some English writers book for me. I've started reading one of them. The books name is 1Q84 of Japanese writer MURAKAMI. As I'm too lazy to read English books. So, I don't understand properly about the book. By reading only 8 pages, I think It's an autobiography!

I've started reading other English topics from collecting internet. Two days before I downloaded "Think and Grow rich" book  of NEPOLION HILL. It's actually pdf file. I'm feeling very much eager for reading those books only for encouraging of someone special.

Anyway, I'm a person about seeking newer knowledge. So, as a free person and to be related with many creative works, in some days I'm also feeling interest for gathering IT knowledge. So, I'm reading IT related blogs too. Today, I'm spending most of my time reading IT knowledge. Sometimes I've practiced what I able to do.

With anyone's interest give him or her new way. I'm wonder about me. I was so lazy about many thing. Now my eagerness is taking me to a new world. I'm now dreaming what will happen after gathering much knowledge about huge idea.

Sometimes I need my won time!!!

Sometimes we don't have much time. But we can do many things from that sufficient time. Then again, sometimes we are free but we don't able to do anything from the vast time. Why? Why don't do anything?

I think, it depends on anyone's environment.

Exactly I don't know what should I do! But, I live in a dream. I'll have my own identity. I'll be an unique person. I'll be made many opportunity for many person's. I'll give many person their own identity.

Sometimes, I feel that at a nice place I'm counseling many persons. I'm doing that works from my home & from online. As a optimistic thinking I think, it'll be a very valuable job for me. Because, most of the persons of our surroundings face many problem in their life. Sometimes many people make frustrated and skip their work and going to far from their own duties. So, fear make him or more frustrated. But, it's not any thing for be frustrated. If anything is hard, if you face that, it'll be must remove or decreases. So, we shall be positive in our every step. And I think, I'm one of the optimist thinker in this world who are never broken for his or her without making success. If, I'm an unemployed person today, after some day I'll must gather success in my life.

If I feel today not much good, it's okay. It's not necessary to finish that work today, I'll do or finish that job when I feel better from today. I may do another things today. May I go somewhere for mind refreshing.

Some guardian don't know about it. So, some children getting much pressure they have to be robot, they lost their own creativity and sometimes they forget what to do.

  (The picture is painted by me)

Poem: ‘Drowned with your true love’

I’m wake up or sleep,

I’m busy or not,

I’m at my home or other place,

I’m at my living room or bath,

I’m in front of my guardian or junior,

I’m doing any job or not,

I’m doing my painting or writing an article,

I’m in sad mood or in wonder world,

I’m at hot or a cold weather,

I’m at morning or it is night,

I’m at a noisy or moistly environment,

I’m singing or talking,

I’m counseling or teaching,

I’m walking or sitting,

You stay in my mind

All the time;

I feel your caress

If you are near or far;

I get your body scent around me,

Like you are hugging me so tight;

Like a naughty perfume or a deodorant,

I feel you always cuddling me;

So, I’m always feel that

I’m with you of your special love care.

How you have hypnotized me

With your mind, body and all!

You are always whistling around me,

And I’m dancing with you all the moment;

Getting your support besides me,

I become the most fortunate girl in the world!!

Oh! I’m so impatience!!!

Yesterday night, when I was taking my preparation to go to bed, a message came into my mobile phone. The meaning of that text was, my close friend Rakhi is coming to the university today, if I also go there, she will be happy. What I say? She is my close friend! That means, most dear one! When we meet together we feel tremendous happiness. So, she knocked me means I’ll go there must. Anyhow! If I have important work there or not! I’ll go, that’s it! But, I’m astonished that I was confused! I just thought why to go! Why I confused today this is the matter!  

After ten days, my parents have returned home yesterday. And you know my dear younger brother also have come with them. We are the three siblings are not in same age. But, we are friends of each other. We the three siblings live in different country; I in Bangladesh, elder one lived in USA and the younger stays in Singapore. But, we didn’t have passed any single day without knocking each other. The elder may give email or knock in face book inbox or at least say ‘hi’ on my wall. If he doesn’t do any of them he must talk with me through mobile conversation. And the younger one is same. And you know one thing, if we don’t notice; others never understand who is elder or younger.

He ‘my chota’ has come at home bringing some English writers book for me. I’m a true lover of story books, even poem too. Though I’m not lover of English books, but, I don’t know why I feel tremendous interest to read those books, even I’m so impatience when will start.

He also has brought for me different kind of delicious chocolates. I love chocolates so much. So, I can’t wait for that also when I’ll test them. Mother is saying me that before eating those you should divide them for all of your cousins and dear one. I had to think about it too.

It’s a regular matter when someone goes to abroad or someone come from abroad, everyone seeks for make over kits. Especially the female person seeks. Not only my mom but also me who isn’t used to use make over. Even though she called me from abroad; she also asked me if I need any of them or what I asked for. In spite of using make up, I also said her bringing one make-up box for me. Because, everyone says that makeover kits of abroad are better. And in some days make over is much interested to me. When I go in simple place I wish I make over me.

Whatever, my mom wasn’t understood. She confused about buying the makeover kits. She didn’t buy it. What she bring if that is good or not. If I won’t like it. Then she brought some lipsticks. Some of them for her daughter and some are for her dear one. My mom is about sixty aged woman. But still now she has a nice friend circle. All of her friend live near our residence. Every weekend they meet and enjoy with each other. So, my mother has bought something for her childhood friend circle and their daughter or sons. And also we are a very happy kingship. There are a very good relation between our paternal or maternal relatives and us. So, if we go somewhere special, if we have not much money, when we return from that place it has become a matter of tensed or shame, what will I buy for whom? There is every one of us of our dear one. It is a matter of confusing! Very much confusing!!

Anyway, from yesterday morning till my waking up at morning, there are lots of things are scattering in our home- some luggages are opened on floor. From the open luggage some chocolates are calling me for eating them, some dirty clothes are crying for washing them, and some other things are asking for arranged nicely their right place. What I say? They just are not waiting there anymore.

And I’m restless! I’m impatience what should I do? eating chocolates or divide them, or divide the lipsticks. Which one I keep for me or which one gives to other I don’t know. I was just checking what the best is, what is looks me better. My mom is coming from a short journey but now she needs rest and I’ve to do the household work. But, I have not any interest to do those today. I’m busy with my new job.  Yesterday night I informed my friend Rakhi that I won’t go to Dhaka University today, if she could shift the program one another day. But, from morning to till noon she is calling me continuously if I go to join with them. Because, I’m the most precious one among our full friend circle.  

From yesterday, I’ve fallen in love writing in English article. All day long the new topic is tweeting on my mind. But, I don’t have much time to write them. But, I’m asking to do. If I had a mind writer I may save them all. Sometimes I think if I invented a mind writer that would be amazing! 


(N.B: The picture is collected from google a art work by Gabriela Taylor)

“Feeling awesome in free world”

Living at home alone isn’t any special case for foreign girls. After eighteen they can stay free. It is their rules or culture what you say. But, in Bangladesh it’s a fear able matter for any kind of woman. Even she is a married person or not. If she is courageous herself, she hasn’t any headache about it. But, people of her surroundings try to push her in tension. I think those people want to remind the girl that “u r a female, not a male person”. Here, in Bangladesh, it’s the belief of many persons that a girl is a only a girl. She doesn’t need to take any challenge. She is born for taking advantages from others.

Anyway, I have been living alone at my home for ten days. But, why? What do you think? My parents are alive! But, they have gone to abroad for a special reason. When they were taken preparation to go abroad except me, I didn’t feel better. It seems that making orphan they have to take me away an orphanage. How could I stay here alone, it couldn’t give me pleasure. I didn’t want the free life for ten days.

But, after passing two days, I was feeling better and that is awesome. It’s not only a free life feeling, but also exceptional also. When I need I need time to write. Giving sometimes more or less I can use my time for doing things. I haven’t needed to engage other’s work. I’m just my own.

Now I’m feeling that if I could get some more time it will be much good for me. But, that’s not possible.

Stay alone at home is awesome! There is nobody to tell you when to get awake, when to take breakfast or when to go to bed. That means not that I broke my discipline. I take my breakfast, lunch and dinner at the right time. But, staying alone means you are free from all.

What did I do in these ten days? You know, I wake up at from bed some moments later from before. I take my breakfast for my own prepared food. There was no one to scold me for anything. It depended on me what I want to do. It’s only my wish. Wow!!

Happily I have been singing; -----  

“It’s a beautiful life,

It’s a beautiful life.. o…wow!!”  

(N.B.: The attaching picture is collected from own painting work)